Updated: Jan 31, 2019
So today marks a personal win, celebration, or even anniversary for me. This day, 3 years ago I decided to start my celibacy journey. Now I am not going to lie and say this was E A S Y because it was N O T. But what I can say is that this journey has been beyond beneficial. Within these 3 years I have gained back my control in relationships, limited the amount of F Boys I interact with, saved my heart from multiple potential heart breaks, gained control over my mind, and I am able to make clear decisions towards people who I choose to be pursued by.
In this blog post I want to share a recent text message conversation between a guy I was interested in and his reaction to me not having sex in 3 years. Before you start your read, I do not want you to harbor any negative opinions about him. He is just a guy who enjoys sex and has never interacted with a girl who he is interested in, that is celibate.
Before we get into this conversation I have to give you some history on him and I. So we initially met in middle school. At that time period we were never friends and we never really talked. We knew of each other because I was in a relationship (puppy puppy love) with his best friend at the time (the guy is gay now). After middle school we followed each other on Facebook and kept up with each other through the internet. So to sum it all up this is a guys that I knew of 8 or 9 years ago who we kept in contact through Facebook.
We have been talking this whole day (you guys know how it is ..when you first meet someone you like you talk the WHOLE ENTIRE DAY). But our sex conversation starts here:
I know you want to read more.... but can your best friend have a little privacy lol.
So with that being said, celibacy is choice that will separate you from the crowd. You may be looked at as weird and you may often feel like no guy or girl would ever take you on that offer. But I am here to tell you that both girls and guys are choosing to live a life without sex (well before marriage). And that it is very possible to find a boyfriend or girlfriend that is also pursuing celibacy.
If that guy or that girl of your dreams ends up approaching you, or in your inbox, or FINALLY declares their love for you..... STICK YOUR GROUND. If they are who God designed for you they would not have a problem on becoming celibate to pursue you. If you think about it what is 2, 3, or even 4 years without sex when you can marry the partner of your DREAMS. There is no way your soul mate will leave you because of sex.
Though me and this guy did not work out due to multiple reasons. One including that he felt that he could get me to change my stance on celibacy. (PS: If a guy or girl says this...RUN. Because they blatantly just told you that they don't respect your decision.) It is ok. It just simply means that this person is not for you and it saves you the heart break for this possible relationship.
HIS LOSS... ANOTHER MAN'S GAIN.
By Crystal Adamma
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