Updated: Jan 31, 2019
Writing this blog post made me feel so many different emotions. Love, Anger, Brokenness, Joy, Disrespect (to cut it off short) are some of the many feelings that came up. But by God's grace I am healed from whatever has broken me. Therefore I will share my story with a smile on my face and no hatred in my heart.
Though some of these situations ended really badly. (Like REALLY BAD. I remember being chased in my car by one of my ex's. He even hit my car!! But thats another story for another day) I REFUSE TO disrespect them through this post.
These were the first lessons that came to my head (well non disrespectful lessons.. L O L) when I went to their social media pages.
MY FIRST LOVE:
The biggest lesson I learned from this guy is my ability to love. This relationship broke me down into pieces. I promise you my heart felt like it was stolen and held for ransom. But when I look back at the relationship I remember the way one person was able to see through me, accept my flaws, feel every emotion I felt, and protect me when I felt the whole world was against me. Some call it puppy love but at that time I called it unconditional. This relationship gets me excited for my husband because it showed me the depth of love. And if I was able to love a guy this way..... then I can only imagine how deep, precious, and authentic my love would be for my husband. So to my First Love...I thank you.!
MY LIBRARY BOOK:
I have been off and on with this guy going on 2 years. And somehow we have never mastered being in a relationship. God knows that I can complain on so many aspect to why it hasn't worked. But in the process of trying to complain God puts a mirror in front of my face. This mirror reveals the truth of who I am and errors I contributed to my library book. The biggest lesson I learned from this guy is that I am not as perfect as I thought I was. I actually have bad communication skills and I rather run from a situation than deal with the actual problem. Running is my security blanket. It allows me to leave a situation without being hurt, feeling abandoned, or broken. And the funny part is that every time I run... I always skip my behind right on back because of how innocent our relationship is. I thank God for our friendship. And if you are not the lucky guy I spend my entire life with then I thank you for allowing the mirror to be a reflection of my faults.
THE NICE GUY:
This guy has put me through the most drama I have ever been through (I dropped so many "friends" and I had girls wanting to fight me because of him). This drama WAS TO MUCHH but i would of never expected this from the nice guy. Therefore the biggest lesson I learned is that nice guys have baggage too and they still require the same in depth quality check like every other guys. This situation, looking back at it, was to good to be true. There were no problems, conversations were never surface level, and he made me feel so pretty with just his eyes. There were a few crazy stories on how his relationships ended but we blamed that on being young and dumb. But CHILDD I should of taken that with a grain of salt instead of throwing the whole salt bag away. No matter how nice the guys is or how much of a husband he seems to be just know Nice Guys have baggage too and quality checks are still required.
Instead of bashing these men I choose to look at every opportunity as a chance to learn and grow. So I thank you for these lessons.
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